Thanks Sandy,
If nothing else, just honestly going to the scriptures about this has been uncomfortable, convicting and quite shocking; it makes me really keen to re evaluate what is scriptural and what we think is scriptural.
I have to say I am encouraged by your earlier post and the fact that you responded to the Holy Spirit and the truth of scripture, above whatever reaction you had, may God bless you for your obedience, honesty and example in this.
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Posted 1 year ago #
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I agree with everybody that the passages quoted make a solid case for not ending a marriage covenant. But they don't cover anything relating to what happens when your marriage covenant has already been destroyed by the *other* party; as is my case. Remember, I'm not the person breaking covenant here; she is. This is why its important to take the whole scripture into account not just the parts which say to stay together. Like when reading 1 Corinthians 7 you can't just stop at verse 12. You have to go all through that section which includes the RELEASE of the deserted believer whose unbelieving spouse has abandoned them and broke covenant. V15: The brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases.
Also I hear a lot of you saying "Release from marriage is not permission to remarry". But its not forbidding remarrying either. Logically, forbidding a single person to marry does not make any sense, and as mentioned above Paul even said that its better to marry than to burn with passion, so LET them marry. The marriage covenant is a bond. It binds two people TO EACH OTHER exclusively. The reason you can't marry a different person when you are already married is because of the bond. The nature of a bond is that you are bound TO something (or someone). Releasing of a bond does not imply one must REMAIN unbound to anything. If you are not bound, by what logic do you give which says that you may never be bound again to someone else? This logic has been on my mind since I started this thread. If you may not marry another when your spouse abandons you, the question must be answered: WHO are you bound to, which prevents this?
I can't find any supporting scripture to the concept of being forced to remain unbound to anyone. If you have some, please state it. The idea of being bound to being UNbound is a logical contradiction. If you are not in a marriage covenant, by what reason would you be forced to stay that way?
Remember, I’m not advocating ending marriages at all. But when the other party ends it through sin, its still ended is it not? If the marriage is gone, then its gone. You’re single. Is there any scripture which denies this? Any scripture at all which says you MAY NOT have a spouse at all.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Recon, forgive me if I am wrong, but it seems to me that you have already made your mind up on this issue and are hoping for people to agree with a decision you've already made.
As I said earlier it concerns me that you already have it on your mind that you "need" to seek out another wife.
Even if that was a legitimate option after divorce, that is one of the LAST things that should be on your mind at this point.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Lots of good input for you Recon. Lots of good wisdom.
I still stand by my original statement early on page 1 as the thing that will bring you the most help at this time. The Lord wants it ALL. Everything. Your complete focus. He is purging your heart of self-desire, to utterly rely on Him, focus only on Him, no distractions. There will be no resolution that produces godly results until He wins; until you wrestle and wrestle and wrestle about what to do and then ... bam. When you can't take it any more because every answer, right and wrong is confusing... you will give up, throw it all on Him, not care a whit about if she returns or if there's another wife down the road or... anything at all.... because your heart will be His completely, and then He is free to fix EVERYTHING. The theology will become clear. His path will become clear. Seek first the kingdom of God, a single eye will restore focus. But only God Himself through much wrestling with you can purge the heart and bring the focus completely to Him and Him alone. And THIS my friend, is the true freedom you desire and you look for. Because God knows exactly what He created you for, He knows exactly your needs at this moment. He knows your apparent lack to live without a wife. But there is a deeper issue that is yet stopping up the wellsprings of restoration from pouring forth. And it is a work in your own heart to receive Him in fullness of love, desiring only Him. A simple prayer of asking Him to help you to yield only to Him will allow Him to bring about that which He intends.
Do not think that the end of the matter has come until your eye is singly upon Christ, for then whatever human marriage you participate in can prosper by His grace and maintenance alone.
God IS speaking to you through most of these posts. There is much wisdom and experience here that people have shared from their hearts with. Be content to come to that place of utter humility where you say "Lord, it matters not if my wife is restored to me or if after she leaves I ever marry again. I cast it ALL upon you." Then you no longer reason with the flesh, you no longer depend on wisdom of the flesh or men or theologies, correct though they may be. The power of God can come through complete yielding, and in so doing I dare say the hearing of His voice. You seek what you seek as an honorable desire. I say it is the very desire that is the thing being wrestled away from you and presently clouds clarity and hinders peace and true freedom.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Ok to clarify, its NOT that I'm making up my own mind apart from scripture and hoping people will agree with me by bending scripture to meet my predefined doctrine (eisegesis). Rather, its that I am reading scripture and this is what it says to me, and I'm hoping I am reading it correctly, and asking if anyone has any direct evidence that what I'm reading is wrong. The logic I state is from a textual analysis, not out of a bias. Although I do prefer I am right in this case, if it is shown in the text that I am wrong, I must accept that. I don't think the right answer is as indefinite as you guys are making it.
I've already fully submitted my life to living by the Word. So I'm not sure why I am getting advice to do so, since that is the code which I live by. Its not like I'm ignoring God's word and living as the pagans do. If that were the case I would not be here talking about it. I seek to live by the Word, but I understand that I may not have read every bit of it and interpreted it correctly. This is why I'm here, to gain access to a collectively broader scope of scripture because you all may have seen parts that I missed. I'm looking for any scripture which explicitly forbids a person in my situation to marry, because I don't wish to disobey scripture if it comes to that point in the future.
As for jumping the gun thinking about this subject "too early" I get that a lot, but please realize that this is just me and how I think. I need to know this now, at this time because my mind works very logically and I reach the logical conclusion very quickly even if its for the future. I already know that I'm not going to go seeking a wife this very moment. But the thought of being forced to remain unmarried for my entire life is unbearable, and it would give me great peace that I would not always be alone. God said in Genesis that it is not good that man be alone, and I agree. I need that. You may not need it, but I do. Just to know that its not forbidden. The definitive nature of the word of God gives me peace.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I also should say this in addition: I'm confused by the advice to listen for supernatural voices. I know full well that thoughts in my head say all different conflicting things and come up with a variety of ideas, some good and some not so good. This is the EXACT trap my wife got caught in. She thinks she hears God's voice and I have 1600 pages of journals to prove it. A person can hear a voice in their head and be 100% convinced that it is God, and devote their lives to following that leading.
This is why we are given the WRITTEN word of God that is the absolute authority in our lives. That way there is no arguing with it. After seeing the train wreck that came from my wife's following of this supernatural voice, there's no way I'm going to subject myself to making DECISIONS in my life based on such things.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Perhaps Recon it is time now to only seek the Lord 4 pages here now of advice and no further setteling in your mind - and it is the Lord this needs setteling with not man and as you have said Gods Word.
I will continue to pray you hear clearly from the Lord and led by the Holy Spirit.
Please do not get ahead of the Lord - waite on him.
Sincerely, Lynn
Posted 1 year ago # -
Yeah. Ok my summary then of everything everyone has said is as follows:
The Lord doesn't FORBID the abandoned believer from marrying another, but you should wait for the Lord to provide some sort of indication before taking any action.
How's that?
Of course, if this is true then it puts the abandoned believer squarely in the same camp as any single person, as I would advise any single person to not take any action in marrying someone unless there's evidence that the Lord is in it.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Hi Recon,
I just wanted to let you know that there is no remarrying for the abandoned believer. As stated in the scripture below.
1 Cor.
7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the lord, LET NOT THE WIFE DEPART FROM HER HUSBAND:
7:11 BUT AND IF SHE DEPART, LET HER REMAIN UNMARRIED, OR BE RECONCILED TO HER HUSBAND: AND LET NOT THE HUSBAND PUT AWAY HIS WIFE.If you notice, there is provision made for a wife to depart from her husband in above verses. Yes, the wife is not to depart from her husband....... BUT IF SHE DOES.......she is NOT to get married to someone else. And if SHE WANTS TO BE MARRIED, then she has to go back to her husband. And guess what? The last part of the verse says that the husband should have been waiting for her to come back and he is NOT TO PUT AWAY HIS WIFE!!! Says the Lord.
Very clear this passage of scripture. A husband is to wait for his wife if she departs from him, as stated in verse 11. The husband is to be waiting for the time she comes back and wishes to be married.
This is very clear that the husband has not gone off and found another wife in the interim, but is available for his wife when she decides to return.
love,
SarahPosted 1 year ago #