Christa, if this man is literally destroying your friend's life and there is abuse involved, I think she should at least separate herself, for a time, if not divorce such a man.
I hardly feel God desires a person to be physically, verbally, or emotionally abused in a marriage where there is an obstinate rebellion on the part of a spouse and continual sin, all for the sake of "staying married." I think of the scripture, "God hates divorce" But at the same time how much more does he hate spousal abuse and rebellion?
I believe there are extreme cases where separation is needed, particularly in areas of extensive abuse. In those situations, where the other spouse is purposefully trying to destroy the other spouse, then
something has to change. I feel that rebuking someone for thinking of leaving seems similar to the Pharisees rebuking the disciples for picking food from the field simply to get something to eat during the sabbath.
I also say a big amen to both Gary and Debonnaire.
I have a friend who is addicted to porn, but he continually goes to a Christian "AA" type of group for
those who struggle with with it. I was very proud of him for being brave enough to do it and his wife has stayed with him for years, despite the struggle. This is an instance where I see both are working for the marriage and each are helping the other grow in Christ.
I also submit the scriptures when The Bible talks about how to deal with a person who is in obstinate sin and rebellion and how they are to be rebuked privately, then with a few witnesses and finally to the whole church, and if they still refuse to repent, to put such a person away from you and to not even eat
lunch with them and whether that applies to marriage or not.
I think everything should be done to try and keep a marriage together and for each party to change and grow and put the other before themselves. Many people these days get divorced over frivolous things, because they are selfish and won't give way for another. But I also believe there are extreme situations where it is impossible to have harmony or peace and when extensive abuse is involved, then something has to be done, even if it means divorce.