1. motherofnations
   Member

   Hi everyone. :)

   Question: Is watching porn committing infidelity and therefore adultery?

   Question: Let's say a spouse watches porn, uses themselves up emotionally, physically and spiritually for the internet pro's and is then not available for their spouse. Is it lawful to divorce this one on the grounds of adultery, and be free to marry another person?

   Scripture?

   Please do not read into this. I am asking these questions because unfortunately there are so many "christian" men viewing porn that it is now time to ask ourselves these difficult questions.

   This is why the christian groups are dead, this is why there is no more spiritual power amongst the "christians".

   Heavy questions for a heavy topic I know, but one that needs to be asked, and one that needs to be very seriously pondered. :)

   thanks,
   Sarah

   Posted 1 year ago #

2. dagazz
   Member

   Tough topic I have to agree.
   I would like to broaden it, or give some perspective that may help by asking a couple of questions that fit the thread.

   Can an alcoholic [ who wants to be free but is in bondage] be a faithful christian?
   Can an addict maintain a healthy marriage?
   If we can answer those, I believe your question can also be answered.
   Bless you
   G

   Posted 1 year ago #

3. debonnaire
   Member

   If my spouse was [spiritually] sick , i would do everything that is available in Christ for her to recover.

   That is a doctrine of Christ to lay down your life
   (for your sister). As a man , i don't especially wait my wife/sister to do what i do or what i could do. But i hope she would, and i'm sure she would. As brother and sister , we are guardians of each other, (if one is weaker at some point).

   If BOTH are new creatures , it is a spirit of force , love and wisdom that God has given to both.
   Christian divorce should not exist.
   Better dying than divorcing.

   Posted 1 year ago #

4. Christa
   Member

   Jesus said that if a man even looks at a woman with lust he is commiting adultery with her. That said; I think this is a powerful question to ask.

   I have been praying for a young woman who married a man she believed to be a sincere Christian. However, it turns out he was just an extremely biblically educated pychopath.
   She is young and never dated before they met and he rushed her into marriage. [Ever see the movie "gaslight?" same sort of deal. The man has turned out to be an abusive nightmare who only pretended to be a Christian. He knows the Word but uses it to abuse her. He is addicted to porn and alcohol. He is abusing her in every kind of way possible and is an extreme control freak to boot. Yet, he is using the scripture about divorce to force her to continue being his prisoner. He has convinced her that if she leaves him that she will have to remain unmarried and alone for the rest of her life.

   Many mature Christians believe this is a circumstance where she is free to leave him. He lied about who he is to seduce her. He has defrauded her of her savings and he is keeping her as virtual a prisoner in her home. He does not allow her to see her family, her friends and keeps her from other Christians. He allows her to keep a job on their property because she is contributing ALOT to the family income and that is the only way I am allowed to occasionally have contact with her. She is becoming more emotionally unstable by the day because she is living with a demon possessed pychopath who refuses to get help.

   They have been married nearly a year now and it has been a nightmare for everyone touched by this man and everyone forced to suffer watching this.

   Posted 1 year ago #

5. Jonathan016
   Member

   Christa, if this man is literally destroying your friend's life and there is abuse involved, I think she should at least separate herself, for a time, if not divorce such a man.

   I hardly feel God desires a person to be physically, verbally, or emotionally abused in a marriage where there is an obstinate rebellion on the part of a spouse and continual sin, all for the sake of "staying married." I think of the scripture, "God hates divorce" But at the same time how much more does he hate spousal abuse and rebellion?

   I believe there are extreme cases where separation is needed, particularly in areas of extensive abuse. In those situations, where the other spouse is purposefully trying to destroy the other spouse, then
   something has to change. I feel that rebuking someone for thinking of leaving seems similar to the Pharisees rebuking the disciples for picking food from the field simply to get something to eat during the sabbath.

   I also say a big amen to both Gary and Debonnaire.

   I have a friend who is addicted to porn, but he continually goes to a Christian "AA" type of group for
   those who struggle with with it. I was very proud of him for being brave enough to do it and his wife has stayed with him for years, despite the struggle. This is an instance where I see both are working for the marriage and each are helping the other grow in Christ.

   I also submit the scriptures when The Bible talks about how to deal with a person who is in obstinate sin and rebellion and how they are to be rebuked privately, then with a few witnesses and finally to the whole church, and if they still refuse to repent, to put such a person away from you and to not even eat
   lunch with them and whether that applies to marriage or not.

   I think everything should be done to try and keep a marriage together and for each party to change and grow and put the other before themselves. Many people these days get divorced over frivolous things, because they are selfish and won't give way for another. But I also believe there are extreme situations where it is impossible to have harmony or peace and when extensive abuse is involved, then something has to be done, even if it means divorce.

   Posted 1 year ago #

6. motherofnations
   Member

   The bible says that sexual sins of fornication and adultery are not the same as smoking and drinking and even drug taking.

   Jesus never said that a person can divorce over smoking, drinking, and drug taking. But Jesus does say that adultery is the reason that divorce can be had.

   And that is also true that a brother in sin who refuses to turn is to be confronted with several witnesses, then the church, and then shunned as a heathen and not eating and drinking with them. :)
   Something the churches WILL NOT adhere to today. :)

   Because the truth is, if you keep fellowshipping with this kind of "brother" then you also will be leavened and eventually the whole batch. Before long you will also be viewing porn right along with them, and think nothing of it, because your mind has been corrupted by the person you are accepting and receiving and enabling. It is one thing to be crying out for help, it is another to be hiding your porn and pretending that all is well and lying. As I heard one man state recently "the Almighty see's it all and nothing is hidden from Him".

   This is the difficulty with all of this. Jesus says that we have to be willing to leave father and mother and sister and brother..... and even husband and wife for His sake?

   love,
   Sarah

   Posted 1 year ago #

7. dagazz
   Member

   Some good responses here, I have to agree that if possible we should seek to see the person brought to repentance, heath and victory in the areas they have fallen.

   We actually went through the divorce issue recently on another thread, this may be helpful.

   The point of the questions was to show that like any addiction, it can take time and specialized ministry to see transformation. Many religious people don't like calling these things addictions, and often until they are prepared to see them as such, true change is difficult.
   If the person is willing to change and aware of the damage they are doing, and can dialog, I would say the right thing to do if possible and safe, is to stand with them... if we can't minister and be witnesses to our own families something is seriously wrong.

   As for adultery being a reason for divorce, I doubt this particular application is what Jesus was referring to. If we apply these inner attitudes as such, there are probably a lot of habitual murderers attending our churches that we should not be having fellowship with.

   I hope this helps, difficult indeed,
   blessings
   Gary

   Posted 1 year ago #

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